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Alchemist Cookbook #2
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Joe Mays' Tabloid Headline Generator

Insightful Report

Harry Dean Stanton Is A Super-Genius

"I'll never forget it as long as I live," muttered ....

The Celebrity Satellite

Secret Leader Of U.N. Works For Super-Intelligent Man From The Future

In what is already being called the news story of the decade ....

Confidential Call

Wonderful Dog Saves Woman From Zombie Hordes

Scientists revealed ....

Rational Spyglass

Lyndon Johnson Hid The Truth About The Russian Mafia!

"It was just about this time last week," reported ....

Celebrity Speculator

Hunchback Dines On Dog!

"I've been trying to tell people for years," reported ....

Morning Democratic Looking Glass

Wolf Saves Fish-Boy From Holocaust

"May the Good Lord strike me dead right here if I'm lying," said a woman on the scene....

Entertainment Spy

Mute Pet-Boy Is Possessed By The Prince Of Darkness

"No comment," reported ....

Modern Times

Vision Of Jesus Christ Appears To Baby Girl Warning Of Earthquake

Once again ....

People's New York Confidential

Queen of England Announces "My Daughter Was The Child Of The World's Ugliest Woman"

Crying "No comment," a ....

The Midday People's Gossiper

Vision Of The Son Of God Appears In Dreams Warning Of Lightning Strike

Reliable sources report that ....

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