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Download AlchemistCookbook.ipt
The Alchemist's Cookbook
Recipes, Ruminations, and Potions

This material is Open Game Content, and is licensed for public use under the terms of the Open Game License v1.0a.

To contact Advanced Photo Solutions with suggestions or feedback send an email to: advancedphotosolutions AT gmail.com

Ingredients
  • 1 fluid ounce mermaid
  • 17 fluid ounces partially hydrogenated olivine
  • 15 gallons Otaaut hellebore
  • 1 gallon shredded duck
  • 1 teaspoon Thurgön tin
  • 1/8 gallon partially hydrogenated protactinum
  • 1/5 cup stewed tantalum
  • 1 gallon Nonu deer
  • 21 teaspoons powdered Bohehien alexandrite
  • 1/4 cup chrome syrup


  • Directions
    Put ale in a small stewpot and heat but do not boil. Saute all the gem ingredients in a seperate pot, add 3 cups of boiling water, reduce mixture over heat, and pour over remaining ingredients. Add all remaining ingredients to the stewpot, stirring occasionally. Add oil as needed. Pour mixture into a seperate double boiler. Reduce mixture to 1/5 by simmering for 57 minutes. Serve.

    Garnish with
  • 1 teaspoon mendelevium syrup


  • Notes - Sorted by Age and Relevance*
    Thriories, Theilániel's observation showed that 1 in 132 people experienced 10 or more of the following symptoms: albinism, anal leakage, aneurysm, angina, asthma, choking, delierium, hair growth up to 1 inch, hemorrhoids, hot flashes, inability to cast any spells, itching, kidney failure, mindfire, priapism, sneezing, vomiting, warts. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from adenitis, adenocarcinoma, amebic dysentry, arthritis, chickenpox, contact dermatitis, Crohn's disease, diabetes, dystrophy, emphysema, gonorrhea, laryngitis, Lyme disease, polio, shingles. If negative symptoms persist, see a wizard immediately.

    Praetaui's journal indicated that chaotic neutral aligned characters are at 7% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Phesho's handbooks showed that each time the victim takes 2 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or be permanently deafened.

    Cognomo, Hoeosedbis, Iebe's study showed that 3% of people who ate from this recipe experienced the following symptoms: albinism, atopy, blurred vision, eunuchoidism, hair growth up to 1 inch, hemorrhoids, menorrhagia, upset stomach, vertigo. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from AIDS or other autoimmune deficiencies, beriberi, contact dermatitis, Hodgkin's disease, hyperglycemia, lung cancer, Lyme disease, snail fever, toxicosis, yellow fever. If negative symptoms develop, see a wizard immediately.

    Teleirasnen, Melilni, Thraasniel's experiments showed that Medusa, and Imp's are at 21% more risk to 1/2 of the effects of this recipe.

    Facumnonaut's guides concluded that when damaged by this recipe, character must succeed on another saving throw or 16 points of damage is permanent drain instead.

    Shetifreth, Imofrio, Chychodowiel's tomes indicated that there is a 15% chance that additional servings will aggravate any negative symptoms by a factor of 9.

    Talæilrieth, Rililrænien's observation concluded that the victim must make 6 successful Fortitude saving throws in a row to recover from any illnesses caused from this recipe.

    Personal codexes indicated that each time the victim takes 18 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or 1/2 of all damage incurred is permanent.

    Osamiel, Groque's observation concluded that each time the victim takes 6 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or be fatigued.

    Personal journal indicated that successful saves do not allow the character to recover. Only magical healing can save the character.

    Utsti, Odee, Tepeli's test showed that 77% of people who ate from this recipe experienced 6 or more of the following symptoms: albinism, apnea, choking, devil chills, dry mouth, eunuchoidism, height shrinkage of at least 1/5 inch, priapism, subtraction of 2 negative levels per serving, temperature 1°F cooler than normal, zits. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from AIDS or other autoimmune deficiencies, arthritis, coronary heart disease, herpes, hookworm, lymphoma, multiple sclerosis, strep throat, stroke, tetanus, thrush. If negative symptoms develop, see a healer immediately.

    Mainper, Ilicui's cookbooks showed that lawful evil and chaotic neutral aligned characters have up to 9% immunity to any effects of this recipe.

    Meralinbrlan, Aelasaliel's manual showed that druid and paladin's have up to 13% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Meniqua's records indicated that Siren, Spectre, Rat, Beholder, and Giant's have up to 71% immunity to any effects of this recipe.

    Wethiblart, Ohefe's codex indicated that monk's are at 78% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Theowirrieth, Tirasnril, Ælarasras's tests showed that true neutral, neutral evil and neutral good aligned characters are at 81% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Ovri, Thirgolir, Krabur's guide showed that lawful neutral aligned characters have up to 22% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Tiquoue's experiments concluded that Human's have a 49% immunity to any effects of this recipe.

    Abd'zyqad'ob, Owby'nxy, Tem'zas'up's study indicated that fighter's have up to 19% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Trilædæl's reports showed that Drow's are at 15% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Yethophe, Cloredumias's scroll concluded that lawful good aligned characters are at 88% more risk to 1/6 of the effects of this recipe.

    Idepost, Unoncemus's handbooks indicated that Unicorn, Drake, Roc, Ankheg, Satyr, Shadow, and Stone Giant's are at 63% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Personal observation indicated that soldier, farmer and monk's are at 8% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Cifefreth, Echucius's essays indicated that there is a 85% chance that any illnesses contracted from eating this recipe are communicable. All players within 163 feet must make a Fortitude saving roll or risk becoming infected.

    Egoudok, Sagumak's study indicated that this may cause the following symptoms: alopecia, blinding sickness, blurred vision, cataplexy, choking, cramps, cysts, dementia, devil chills, ectopic pregnancy, fugues, hair growth up to 1/3 inch, hallucinations, hemorrhoids, priapism, rosacea, sneezing, temperature 4°F cooler than normal, warts. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from AIDS or other autoimmune deficiencies, Alzheimer's, arteriosclerosis, cerebrospinal fever, diverticulosis, herpes, kala-azar, Lyme disease, lymphoma, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, peritonitis, yellow fever. If negative symptoms persist, see a wizard immediately.

    Postha, Tuiepus's test showed that Human, Elf, Halfling, and Dwarf's have up to 26% immunity to 1/6 of the effects of this recipe.

    Sigoduque's encyclopedia indicated that 1 in 139 people experienced the following symptoms: age reversal, albinism, alopecia, anemia, asthma, bedwetting, blurred vision, choking, dementia, double vision, filth fever, inability to cast arcane spells, ingrown toenails, kidney failure, paranoia, rosacea, vertigo. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from Addison's disease, arteriosclerosis, arthritis, croup, gastric ulcers, gonorrhea, gout, leprosy, louse, Lyme disease, lymphoma, mumps, tapeworm, thrush, trachoma. If negative symptoms develop, see a wizard immediately.

    Brørgick's experiments indicated that Banshee's have a 10% immunity to 1/3 of the effects of this recipe.

    Entiuitru, Etbsequa's guides showed that there is a 43% chance that the cook will obtain a magical immunity to any side-effects.

    Et'ekvag, Utpy'abgrizcz, Ewsh'raesenc's reports concluded that there is a 93% chance this recipe may cause age reversal, anemia, chills, choking, dementia, ectopic pregnancy, hair growth up to 7 inches, inability to cast arcane spells, muscular atrophy, paranoia. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from Addison's disease, bubonic plague, chlamydia, endocarditis, glaucoma, pertussis, shingles. If negative symptoms persist, see a wizard immediately.

    Personal observation concluded that there is a 24% chance that the cook will obtain a magical immunity to 49% of the negative side-effects.

    * Because of variations in test conditions, recorded studies may have yielded varying results. Newer studies are generally more accurate than older studies, but it is ultimately up to the GM to interpret these results.

    Copyright © 2003-2006, NBOS Software. "Dwarven Beserker" and "Relic" art by V. Shane.