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Download AlchemistCookbook.ipt
The Alchemist's Cookbook
Recipes, Ruminations, and Potions

This material is Open Game Content, and is licensed for public use under the terms of the Open Game License v1.0a.

To contact Advanced Photo Solutions with suggestions or feedback send an email to: advancedphotosolutions AT gmail.com

Ingredients
  • 1/6 quart essence of solder
  • 1/9 pint Akazidiel cesium dressing
  • 13 tablespoons Naquiseme wintergreen oil
  • 1/8 cup tin paste
  • 1/6 tablespoon minotaur extract
  • 1/5 tablespoon crushed Kogri serpentine
  • 21 pints shredded Arandasnael pink gold
  • 1 teaspoon Phipyi pigeon poison
  • 1/5 pound shredded Deinonle rose quartz
  • 3 cups Atobahus lovage syrup
  • 19 quarts essence of Utgiet juniper berries
  • 1 pint sterling silver poison
  • 20 tablespoons Crevyeck brown bear dressing
  • 23 pints partially hydrogenated Voviel arsenic
  • 22 gallons stewed Lirilæilian bloodstone
  • 1/4 teaspoon chopped Egrechaflesa rooster
  • 12 gallons Ovri dysprosium
  • 14 pints terbium flakes
  • 1/6 pint shredded corundum
  • 17 quarts boronite juice
  • 1 pound clianthus dressing
  • 1 ounce chopped Ofravia ruthenium
  • 1 tablespoon crushed Esagia shadow
  • 1 pint shredded hen
  • 1/4 pint permalloy broth
  • 1/4 teaspoon shredded pokeweed
  • 10 tablespoons dried protactinum
  • 17 pounds partially hydrogenated Ere fire giant


  • Directions
    Put wine in a small pitcher and heat to 239°. Add 1/3 of the ingredients to the pitcher and bring to a slow simmer. Add all remaining ingredients to the pitcher, stirring frequently. Add Nameumfere lanthanum oil to thicken as needed. Pour mixture into a seperate bowl. Let mixture cook 74 minutes. Serveat room temperature.

    Garnish with
  • 3 fluid ounces shredded frog


  • Notes - Sorted by Age and Relevance*
    Ofloshrern, Apavien, Ebrugrunar's study showed that 1 in 171 people experienced the following symptoms: age reversal, anal leakage, anemia, angina, atopy, bad breath, chills, choking, dizziness, dry mouth, gender changes, hair growth up to 6 inches, hallucinations, height growth of at least 3 inches, inability to cast any spells, itching, kidney failure, menorrhagia, skin color changes, warts. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from adenocarcinoma, chickenpox, chlamydia, endocarditis, epilepsy, malaria, neuropathy, peritonitis, pinkeye, polio. If negative symptoms persist, see a shaman immediately.

    Clagien, Ocaze's experiments showed that paladin's have up to 34% immunity to 1/2 of the effects of this recipe.

    Xyqueb'ak, Uvqpri's handbook showed that each time the victim takes 25 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or 1/4 of all damage incurred is permanent.

    Dofuemeam, Emaegunt, Aquam's grimoire indicated that successful saves do not allow the character to recover. Only magical healing can save the character.

    Personal essays indicated that there is a 33% chance that character will become addicted or dependant to the recipe. Addiction will require 7+(Number of days addicted) successful Will savings rolls to cure.

    Domnilir's codexes concluded that there is a 14% chance that the cook will obtain a magical immunity to any negative side-effects.

    Mugri, Nolmolir's handbooks showed that 1 in 99 people experienced up to 8 of the following symptoms: age reversal, alopecia, anemia, apnea, asthma, atopy, blurred vision, cramps, dry mouth, fugues, hair growth up to 1 inch, height growth of at least 1/4 inch, hemorrhoids, menorrhagia, paranoia, priapism, rosacea, zits. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from amebic dysentry, black lung, cancer, cerebrospinal fever, coronary heart disease, Crohn's disease, croup, diverticulosis, gingivitis, hookworm, kala-azar, melanoma, pernicious anemia, pertussis, pneumonia, tapeworm, tetanus, trachoma. If negative symptoms develop, see an alchemist immediately.

    Teex, Eumeolo, Iueci's handbook indicated that chaotic neutral, true neutral, lawful neutral and lawful evil aligned characters have up to 48% immunity to 1/5 of the effects of this recipe.

    Personal tests have concluded that 22% of people who ate from this recipe experienced the following symptoms: age reversal, anemia, apnea, bedwetting, cramps, filth fever, height shrinkage of at least 9 inches, incontinence, upset stomach, vertigo, warts. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from AIDS or other autoimmune deficiencies, amebiasis, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, cancer, croup, diptheria, diverticulitis, emphysema, epilepsy, gastric ulcers, genital herpes, gonorrhea, leukemia, louse, multiple sclerosis, neuropathy, pneumonia, polio, thrush, yellow fever. If negative symptoms persist, see an alchemist immediately.

    Pedifra, Quamsu, Bedea's treatises concluded that neutral evil aligned characters are at 90% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Khugnur, Brakrir, Habrug's codexes concluded that there is a 15% chance that any illnesses contracted from eating this recipe are communicable. All players within 170 feet must make a Fortitude saving roll or risk becoming infected.

    Posteho's grimoires indicated that 23% of people who ate from this recipe experienced 6 or more of the following symptoms: all checks –2 per serving, anemia, apnea, artificial insemination, cataplexy, choking, devil chills, dizziness, double vision, eunuchoidism, freckles, hallucinations, height shrinkage of at least 10 inches, hot flashes, paranoia, sneezing. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from Alzheimer's, amebic dysentry, cardiac arrest, diptheria, dysentery, dystrophy, endocarditis, herpes, hyperglycemia, kala-azar, polio, scurvy. If negative symptoms develop, see a wizard immediately.

    Atogus, Xerodomus's journals concluded that fighter's have a 73% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Laboratory tests have indicated that each time the victim takes 9 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or be fatigued.

    Dutuosne, Caurmopi, Sacamen's report concluded that there is a 7% chance this recipe may cause height growth of at least 9 inches, mummy rot. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from AIDS or other autoimmune deficiencies, amebic dysentry, epilepsy. If negative symptoms persist, see a wizard immediately.

    Personal observations have indicated that farmer's are at 70% more risk to 1/10 of the effects of this recipe.

    Nedain's guides indicated that neutral good aligned characters have up to 75% immunity to any effects of this recipe.

    Opz'umpr, Gutiar's codex showed that Elf's are at 23% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Personal cookbook showed that Drow's have up to 76% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Tenalædlir's experiments concluded that Hill Giant's have up to 26% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Ainrium, Nehil, Suntsuanfe's grimoire concluded that bard and monk's are at 33% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Scrumucusti, Nuncfaeti, Eicre's guide indicated that Jinn, Zombie, Hill Giant, Hippogryph, Manticore, Pixie, and Fire Elemental's have up to 45% immunity to any effects of this recipe.

    Sicadctioma, Mocodi, Cufarari's codex indicated that chaotic good and chaotic evil aligned characters are at 78% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Brubrin's records showed that rogue's have a 58% immunity to 1/3 of the effects of this recipe.

    Bomnu, Khedrilir's handbook indicated that the victim must make 7 successful Fortitude saving throws in a row to recover from any illnesses caused from this recipe.

    Trylilrorbrien, Ærendasrial's observations showed that this may cause the following symptoms: ability checks –1 per serving, alopecia, anemia, artificial insemination, bad breath, cackle fever, cramps, dementia, eunuchoidism, hallucinations, hot flashes, skin color changes, sneezing, zits. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from cardiac arrest, diptheria, epilepsy, glaucoma, gout, laryngitis, leprosy, thrush. If negative symptoms persist, see a wizard immediately.

    Girtl, Gwiet's journals indicated that rogue, wizard, ranger and fighter's have a 92% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Personal tests have concluded that each time the victim takes 7 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or be temporarily deafened.




    * Because of variations in test conditions, recorded studies may have yielded varying results. Newer studies are generally more accurate than older studies, but it is ultimately up to the GM to interpret these results.

    Copyright © 2003-2006, NBOS Software. "Dwarven Beserker" and "Relic" art by V. Shane.