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Download AlchemistCookbook.ipt
The Alchemist's Cookbook
Recipes, Ruminations, and Potions

This material is Open Game Content, and is licensed for public use under the terms of the Open Game License v1.0a.

To contact Advanced Photo Solutions with suggestions or feedback send an email to: advancedphotosolutions AT gmail.com

Ingredients
  • 1/8 pound Trilowowlir barite extract
  • 1 pint Raul'epwyuw tungsten dressing
  • 1/10 gallon dried Dascertha sterling silver
  • 15 ounces polonium juice
  • 16 ounces smoky topaz paste
  • 1 ounce diced Sileiral rock cress
  • 1 cup gold dressing
  • 16 gallons Crephitias zirconium juice


  • Directions
    Put water in a medium wok and heat to 225°. Scramble all the alloy ingredients in a seperate double boiler, add 7 cups of boiling water, reduce mixture over heat, and place in wok. Add remaining ingredients to the wok 1 at a time, stirring frequently. Add flour to reconstitute as needed. Pour mixture into a seperate Dutch oven. Fry mixture for 59 minutes. Servechilled.

    Garnish with
  • 1 teaspoon crushed Eraut invar
  • 1/6 fluid ounce Etalshef mendelevium flakes
  • 1 quart Nonigi sulfur extract
  • 1 pound fresh Ohadia bismuth


  • Notes - Sorted by Age and Relevance*
    Personal cookbook indicated that there is a 19% chance this recipe may cause age reversal, autism, dry mouth, ectopic pregnancy, freckles, hot flashes. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from Alzheimer's, dengue, epilepsy, gingivitis, laryngitis, leprosy, tapeworm. If negative symptoms persist, see a shaman immediately.

    Nere's codex concluded that bard, fighter, rogue and paladin's have up to 9% immunity to any effects of this recipe.

    Ituaa's tome showed that each time the victim takes 6 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or be permanently stunned.

    Gwak, Gergritla's scroll indicated that 1 in 30 people experienced 3 or more of the following symptoms: albinism, aneurysm, apnea, cataplexy, chills, dizziness, dry mouth, ectopic pregnancy, eunuchoidism, itching, priapism, rosacea, vomiting. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from gout, heart attack, pinkeye, strep throat, trachoma. If negative symptoms persist, see a healer immediately.

    Shebe's essay concluded that cleric's have up to 26% immunity to any effects of this recipe.

    Personal studies indicated that there is a 53% chance that additional servings will aggravate any negative symptoms by a factor of 10.

    Dhofarn's handbook showed that 1 in 130 people experienced the following symptoms: age reversal, apnea, autism, bedwetting, chills, ingrown toenails, itching, kidney failure, rosacea. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from black lung. If negative symptoms persist, see an alchemist immediately.

    Personal manuals concluded that Thunderbird, Orc, Ogre, Poltergeist, Brown Bear, Wight, and Fire Elemental's have up to 86% immunity to 1/8 of the effects of this recipe.

    Etmobi's codex indicated that monk, wizard, soldier and ranger's are at 85% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Joth's scroll concluded that neutral good, neutral evil and lawful neutral aligned characters have up to 18% immunity to any effects of this recipe.

    Egogiel's journals concluded that Halfling, Gnome, Drow, Human, and Elf's are at 33% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Beadilum, Supuqua's experiment concluded that true neutral aligned characters are at 62% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Sarnög's cookbook indicated that sorcerer's are at 45% more risk to 1/8 of the effects of this recipe.

    Ettumen's handbook indicated that chaotic evil, lawful good, lawful evil and true neutral aligned characters are at 81% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Ipoli, Etliua, Quametgau's experiments showed that merchant and farmer's have a 85% immunity to 1/4 of the effects of this recipe.

    Crellonetua, Nonople's journals showed that druid's have a 47% immunity to 1/3 of the effects of this recipe.

    Moltiubus, Measmpoquerre, Ainmquam's treatises concluded that chaotic neutral aligned characters have a 7% immunity to 1/7 of the effects of this recipe.

    Ryifiwien, Aryesovegien's studies showed that when damaged by this recipe, character must succeed on another saving throw or 12 points of damage is permanent drain instead.

    Ćninasian's studies showed that 44% of people who ate from this recipe experienced the following symptoms: artificial insemination, autism, demon fever, filth fever, warts. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from Addison's disease, adenocarcinoma, arteriosclerosis, cerebrospinal fever, cholera, cold and fever symptoms, conjunctivitis, contact dermatitis, glaucoma, Hodgkin's disease, leukemia, melanoma, mumps, peritonitis, pneumonia, snail fever, strep throat, tapeworm, trachoma, tuberculosis. If negative symptoms develop, see a shaman immediately.

    Mofrobolien's handbook indicated that there is a 5% chance that additional servings will aggravate any negative symptoms by a factor of 6.

    Uh'itsaw, Dybry'noy, Ilsturtutr's observations indicated that this may cause the following symptoms: age reversal, albinism, all checks –3 per serving, anal leakage, artificial insemination, atopy, cramps, cysts, dizziness, dry mouth, ectopic pregnancy, height shrinkage of at least 1 inch, itching, menorrhagia, priapism, rosacea, temperature 7°F warmer than normal, upset stomach. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from cholera, cold and fever symptoms, Crohn's disease, dengue, diverticulosis, herpes, lockjaw, pinkeye, trachoma. If negative symptoms persist, see a shaman immediately.

    Rinéllenol, Trilrias's studies concluded that Dwarf's are at 95% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Frameaeriam, Quodbri's reports concluded that there is a 46% chance that any illnesses contracted from eating this recipe are communicable. All players within 112 feet must make a Fortitude saving roll or risk becoming infected.

    Puquidpru's essays concluded that 10% of people who ate from this recipe experienced 3 or more of the following symptoms: age reversal, aneurysm, angina, bad breath, cataplexy, cramps, cysts, freckles, hair color changes, mummy rot, sneezing, vomiting. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from coronary heart disease, hyperactive thyroid, leprosy, measles. If negative symptoms persist, see a wizard immediately.

    Fluck, Agrasubevus, Yofroqijolien's grimoires concluded that there is a 78% chance that the cook will obtain a magical immunity to 68% of the side-effects.

    * Because of variations in test conditions, recorded studies may have yielded varying results. Newer studies are generally more accurate than older studies, but it is ultimately up to the GM to interpret these results.

    Copyright © 2003-2006, NBOS Software. "Dwarven Beserker" and "Relic" art by V. Shane.